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Digital painting of my favourite vocalist Kyo of Dir en grey. Work time was something like 2-3 hours. Dir en grey, aside from being my favourite band, is very special to me because their music is one of the few things that can bring me out of my depression.
A little soul baring here.
I don't like to talk about it much because I think it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but I feel tired of hiding behind a mask. I've lived with depression since I was very young. It could range from mild to very, very severe. In recent years I have managed it much better, but I will live with it forever.
Some Dir en grey songs are chaotic, angry, mournful, disjointed. Something most people probably would hate. But to me, that's how the world feels sometimes, and all I want to do is scream until my vocal chords disintegrate. In that chaos there's this weird beauty, and to hear someone else articulate that feeling for me is cathartic. Despite a language barrier, the emotion felt is so strong that it's the only music that can bring me to tears.
I've faced a lot of difficulty because of my illness. I've been mocked and ridiculed, misunderstood; I've had people tell me to kill myself. Sometimes it gets the better of me and makes me say hurtful things. I don't like to tell people about it, because I want to maintain an appearance of normalcy. But I think there are so many more people like me who are hiding their pain. So please, if you know someone who may be depressed, treat them with kindness and openness. Many of us are fighting with ourselves every day. Don't be afraid to ask what you might be able to do to help, and don't be upset if you can't do anything.
|I'm a storyboard artist living in the Bay Area. In my free time I'm working on multiple graphic novel projects, and the rest of the time I'm wearing ridiculous outfits. Sometimes I do both at the same time.|